HADOUKEN

Hadouken (Ha-doo-kin) is a video game for the TV (common sense), created by the IRS, Ben Affleck, and Ice Cube.

My friend
One day I was watching Family Guy with my friend. He pointed at the screen and laughed, "Peter is so f*cking funny". Then I corrected him and said that this was a TV, not a Peter. "No, I'm talking about the character" he said. So now my friend was being mean and offensive, calling my TV a character. I then punched him in his right arm and yelled at him to get out. He then left crying, embarrassed because my parents saw him. When my mom asked me what happened, I said, "He was a white supremacist".

School
The next day at school, my so called friend squirted mayonnaise on my shirt! God! What an idiot! So when I came to 4th period, I had no shirt on. Because I drew so much attention (because I'm sexy), the teacher asked, "What is the equation to this problem?" He's a freaking idiot!

"Man! You're the teacher! You're suppose to know it! And the answer's always 13, numbnuts! God! You're an idiot! How'd you even get this job!?" Then, I got detention. I was all like "WTF" and then I updated my status on Facebook: My teacher is an idiot!

Heroes
After detention was over, there were these two guys who were arguing who was a better hero, Batman or Iron Man, so I was like, "You're both idiots! Batman doesn't have powers so he isn't even a hero! And Iron Man is a song by Ozzy Osbourne! Spider-Man is the only good hero! He shoots sticky stuff and has teenage angst! He's way more realistic than anyone else! God, what idiots!" They called me a moron, but then I was all like, "I'm a Scientologist! Morons are insane and love Utah!" Those guys were freaking idiots, God!

Back home
So my day was going a little bit crappy. When I got home, my mommy was all, "Honey! Sweep the living room!" Honey is not my name! Honey is something bees make! God, what an idiot! Then, I was all, "Janice! Where's the broom!?", and she started yelling at me for calling her Janice. God! That's her name. What an idiot! *sniff* Yuck! Did you fart?! God! What an idiot!

Then my dad came home and told me he was leaving my mom, and I was, "Duh! You leave everyday when you go to work! You're an idiot!" Then he punched me. He's so stupid. He told me I fell down some stairs, but he punched me! God, he's an idiot!

On the computer
Instead of going on Facebook, I went somewhere else in the internet, called a wiki. I posted a link to a guy stretching his booty cause it's funny! I got banned from posting. God, those guys are idiots! Where is their sense of humour?!

Well, after that, I went on to some stupid website that thought it was Wikipedia or something! The people there were idiots, so I blanked a bunch of pages to let them know how stupid they were. The idiots banned me! Those idiots suck.

This was not meant to be taken for real