Company With Moral Ethics is a video game, made by Konami Hardware. It was released on August 6th, 2013 because the developers couldn't figure out what time they wanted to release the game. They tried to port it to the GameBoy, but that failed, because Nintendo doesn't let people make GameBoy games anymore. After they couldn't release the game on GameBoy, they decided they may as well cancel it, since they wanted it released on a portable console. Several years later in 2019, the game was finally released on the Nintendo Switch on February 29th. There was no leap year that year so no one knew when the game would be released, and neither did the developers, so the game never came out. Until June 1st, 2022, when the game was finally surprise released.
ESRB Rating - O (for OH GOSH IT'S OFFENSIVE)
Plot[]
Chapter The Starting: Prologue[]
The game begins with an ice cream company called "Badlands Cream". The CEO of the company, Mustache Chachoofy died, so the company is bad. So they hired a professional businesswoman, Sarah Martins. She screams for ice cream.
Chapter 1: The Start[]
ICE CREAM! The company made all sorts of ice creams, but they had an issue, one of their pistachio ice creams was called "Pistachio". This is actually a slur in many cultures, some cultures, many of the cultures, the ones that aren't good. Sarah immediately got upset by this and cried. She called the advisors and told them to fix the ice cream. They ended up changing the pistachio flavor to "Mr. Ice Cream" flavor. Once Sarah found out about this change, she was happy it changed. but started crying because it changed. She was crying, because it was not representative enough. She called the advisory office (the people who change the ice cream), she told them to change it to "Mx. Ice Cream". The company then agreed and she is now happy. She had a heart attack and died sadly, the company is now unstable, with a new outlook on morality. The company must uphold their image to the people. In her will, was to make sure the company follows a politically correct gender, to make sure the company is always on track. The new CEO was a man named Cleetus from the south. He won position of CEO because he found a golden ticket in his ice cream (that was one of Sarah's will wishes, except she asked for the ticket to be rainbow but that didn't happen). Cleetus quickly accepted the offer and became the new CEO.
Cleetus was informed that before he many any decisions, he must pay attention to the policies of the company, and not change the companies outlook on social issues. Cleetus agreed and said that he loves gay people, and he wishes everyone was gay so that he could get all the women for himself, hyuuk. Within Cleetus' first month in office, he earned $300,000 for charity. Cleetus accidentally donated all $300,000 to a Nazi group, called "The Final Solution". The media instantly became angered with Cleetus and his ice cream company. The company immediately called Cleetus in for a meeting with the media, they contacted him by saying that he must protect the company at all costs and save their reputation, and not say anything offensive. Cleetus said "Hyuk, sure thang, my bad. This was a big disaster. Don't worry I understand what all the kids like these days".
Cleetus walks into the media room and begins to take questions. One reporter asks Cleetus "Why would you as CEO of Badlands Cream, donate to a Nazi terrorist group?". Cleetus responds saying "No, this was a huge accident, hyuk. A huge accident! I thought it was a cancer charity, it sounded like one. It said that we were gonna take out all the cancer from the world and defend all the white blood cells. I really didn't mean it, but we'll fix this going forward". A storm of reporters than raised their hands and started begging to ask questions. Cleetus chooses the lady in the back with the purple hat, saying "You! Asian lady! I'll take ya question". The reporter asks the question "There has been massive boycotts against the company in San Francisco, and just outside of the company's headquarters in Los Angeles, how do you address this?" Cleetus says "I want to let ya'll know that I'm not far-right or prejudiced against any gays, against any trannies, or any lesbians, or lesboys, or anyone out there". The crowd immediately gasps, Cleetus says "Uh oh, did I oopsie? Was that bad?. Ooh oh, oh okay, my- my bad, did I say trann- That's a slur, yeah that's a slur, okay my bad, I take fault for that one. What I meant is that I don't care if you're gay or or a a lesbian, or even if you're one of those uhhh... whatchamacallits uh uh uh uh uh a transvestite. The crowd immediately gasps "Uh uh uh uh, dear, is that bad too? I don't- I don't know! I mean this out of the pureness of my heart, I don't mean it! It's just the words that are confusing me, look you know what I'm referring to the gender-benders". The crowd immediately gasps. The reporters immediately ask "Did you watch The Last Airbender too?" Cleetus says "Uh uh uh- The Last Airbender the gender-bender? No no I- I- didn't know that was in the movie. Just to clarify, I apologize again. I'll take one last question. Oh yeah, thanks for that previous question, Moana". The crowd immediately gasps, Cleetus says "Oh come on, ain't I supposed to give nicknames? They're just nicknames, come on!". Cleetus says. "You mister with the the- the... Nevermind, I just won't say it. I don't know what I can do anymore, you mister, the one I'm pointing at!" The reporters corrects him and says "Actually it's not Mr, it's Ms". Cleetus says "Huh? Woahhh, hyuk. Dude looks like a lady! Hyuk hyuk. Right?" The crowd immediately gasps. The reporter than asks their question "How can we trust the company to not donate to any more Nazi organizations in the future?". Cleetus says "Look, I may not say things that you like, but I've never done anything that you don't like, except for donating to a Nazi foundation, hyuk, but I did that out of the pureness of my heart to donate to a ya know, a- a good cause, I thought. Look man, I hate Nazis, they're like... bad. We're gonna make sure this company stands against Nazis. Here ya want me to say some bad things about Nazis?" The crowd immediately says "Yeeeaahhh!". Cleetus says "I hate those brainless idiots, they don't think, they're evil, they're anti-Semitic, if that means what I think that means. They don't like all the good people, they're no good rotten scum, that deserve to die on the wrong of hell. Hyuk". The crowd immediately cheers "WOOOOOOOOoOo!" Cleetus says "Yeah! Screw them, screw them damn Nazis! Those German idiots have no idea what they're doing!" The crowd immediately gasps. Cleetus says "Oh come on! What'd I say that time? Okay, I'm just gonna leave on this note. Them Nazis are a bunch of selfish b-words". The crowd immediately cheers "YEEEAHHH!". Cleetus says "So you like that one, huh? Them Nazis are a bunch of fu****s!" Cleetus then says "They're a bunch of horrible fa****s!" The crowd immediately gasps and starts throwing things at Cleetus. You then finally play the game and dodge tomatoes in a quick-time event for a minute, as Cleetus runs out of the room.
Chapter 2: The PR Team[]
Cleetus is then invited to a board with the PR team to discuss the latest events over the week. The board was, to say the least, disappointed. Board business member, Bob Robson, says to Cleetus "Look what you're recent actions have done to the business! We are down a grand total of 24%, 24%!!! Think about that, if you took 24 hours off your life, you're missing a whole day!" He then shows a cool graph and he has one of those sticks to point at it with, he shows the arrow going down. Bob says "We are really really lacking sales from people of colors, people of others, and just generally, it's all low! Except we are doing really good with Nazi extremists! But besides that, the business is looking less sharp then usual, let's just say". Bob gets close to Cleetus and shakes Cleetus' head. Cleetus says "I'd appreciate it if you weren't breathing down my face when saying that, ya big ol' fat man! The only time I would like this, is if I were sitting on Santa's lap, and I don't doubt that kids sit on your lap, because you're probably a damn pedophile, like my uncle. Hyuk". Bob then says "I bet you were the victim, hah!" Sad music begins playing and Cleetus loses his smile and stops talking. Bob realizes he went too far and apologizes to Cleetus. Bob then slips and breaks his chin on the tile floor and is sent to the hospital.
Cleetus then snaps back to the meeting. He says "Look, we can fix this. We can give back, and not givin' back like the type with your uncle. I mean give back to the people who need it. We need to raise money, and can we kill Nazis? Like, attack the Nazis? Just to revoke what we did". An asian board-member says "Cleetus, we're an ice cream company". Cleetus says "Ya you're right, thanks Moana".
Chapter 3: Oops, I Did It Again![]
Three months later, Cleetus raises $3,000,000 from sales of ice cream (14% of revenue was from Nazi extremists). Cleetus then live streams on the Badlands Ice Cream Instagram. Cleetus makes a big announcement "Guys, I have raised over $3,000,000 to donate to charity. I want to address everyone in the chat, I want to know who I should donate to. After sitting there for a while, people in the chat start spamming that he should donate to "Winged Angels", and the chat says that they are a trustworthy and good organization. Cleetus says "Winged Angels? Huh.. Why are some people spamming no in the chat, those guys must be the Nazis! I ain't trustin' them. Why are people saying this is a Nazi organization, here lemme put a poll up, I want to see who I'm giving my money to" 79.4% of people said to donate to Winged Angels. Cleetus says "Hyuk, I guess if you guys are sayin' so! Why are guys spamming "jebaited"? What does that mean? Ya- ya know what, I can't trust this, this ain't trustworthy, you guys are just trollin' me, I can't believe this, that's what jebaited means, it means ya- ya trollin me- ya jebaited me! Here can we get some PogChamps in the chat?" Cleetus decided off of the live stream to donate to a charity based on his own opinion, and he chose to donate to a charity called "The Greater Cause", promising that they would help end racial tensions and bring prosperity and bring the world to the way it's meant to be. Two days later, the media find out that he donated $3,000,000 to another Nazi extremist group. Cleetus says "Whoops, I did it again! Hyuk hyuk, dammit, damn damn dammit. Hyuk".
Cleetus then gets invited to the board. Cleetus opens the door, and the board instantly says "You're fired, it's over". Cleetus shuts the door and leaves.
Chapter What Is This: Cream Big Kids[]
Cleetus now on the street on his own, he walks home in the rain in downtown Los Angeles. Cleetus begins sobbing and crying "Hyuk hyuk hyuh". He is crying a lot, but he can't tell if it's the rain or his tears that are making the clothes wet. It's factually a culmination of rain and tears, but the majority of the water consists of rain water from the atmospheric river. Cleetus then walking downtown, passes by the hospital, he then remembers his colleague board meeting member, Bob Robson, is still being treated for a shattered jaw. Cleetus walks by a bush and pulls flowers from it. He then goes to visit Bob, Cleetus says "Hey man, I know you ain't feelin' well, so I got ya these". Bob Robson in his hospital bed looks at Cleetus confused while holding the flowers. Cleetus says "Look I know you're probably a guy, but flowers or like, ya know, it's a nice gesture whatever the case". Bob then says "I'm a guy, Cleetus. I'm a guy" very sternly. Cleetus then says "So that means you don't like flowers then, I guess?" Bob then says "No Cleetus, I love flowers. I love flowers". Cleetus says "Wait, if your jaw is shattered, how are you talking?". Bob then instantly starts screaming in pain (mumbling actually). Cleetus jumps out of the hospital window, as he wasn't supposed to be in there anyways".
As he jumps out of the window, he falls into a dumpster. In there, he finds a homeless guy named Johnclere. Cleetus then says "Hyuk, uh well, hello". Johnclere says "Would you like some wine?". Cleetus accepts and says "Why yes!". Johnclere pulls down his pants and starts peeing into a wine glass and hands it to Cleetus. Cleetus then says "Redneck special, I like it, okay. How else do you think we got STDs in the south? Hyuk". Johnclere then says "Or from your creepy uncle". Cleetus then says "Wait.... No... No...... It can't be". Johnclere begins laughing. Cleetus jumps out of the dumpster and begins running, this is where the game truly begins, and you must run away from your creepy uncle, Johnclere, and the music begins playing intensely (BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMMMM). You must jump across rooftops and go through alleyways.
Cleetus is running as fast as he can, and throwing things to try and stop his uncle from following him. His uncle says "GET OVER HEREE!" It's so loud it distorts the audio, and it sounds like that one meme sound. Cleetus then climbs a ladder to escape his crazy uncle, but his uncle quickly follows behind. Cleetus then jumps across the rooftop onto another roof, an amazing 16ft gap. His uncle then screams "I'M GOING TO R***E YOU!" It's so loud it distorts the audio. Cleetus finds a vent and opens it and crawls in it, closing it behind him. He looks at the entrance of vent, and he sees his uncle's footsteps there looking for him. His uncle then says "What a shame, I was feeling a bit dry". Cleetus then scared for his life then continues to crawl through the vent, this is the end of the chase scene. As he's crawling through the vent, he gets a call from his cellular device, he answers it "Uhh, hello?". "Hey Cleetus, it's Bob, I just wanna let you know that I was so touched by your gift that you gave me". Cleetus says "That sounds a bit gay though, hyuk". Bob says "Cleetus, I'm so touched that I want to get you back in your CEO position. You've been replaced by a woman named Shelock Hemsworth. I want to get you back in, I have a powerful position at the company, but you need to up your public perception before I can do that, so get your s**t together." Cleetus says "Bob, I don't know how I'm gonna-" He immediately falls through the vent. And he falls into the studio for RuPaul's Drag Race show into a changing room. "W- where the hell am I?" Cleetus says. He hears a knock on the changing room door "Hello sisters, get ready, the show is starting in 10 minutes". Cleetus says "Oh balls, oh sweaty balls. Wait! If I pull this off, this'll be perfect, this will fix my public perception.
Cleetus gets ready for the drag show and he puts on his pink thong, foofoo slippers, baby binky, and a pink flamingo scarf, along with a Kim K complimented dress. He knew he needed to add a little bit more 'YOU GO GIRL!' flavor to it, so he put some sprinkles on his dress, and put on makeup faster than any woman ever has. He looked in the mirror and said "I don't know how I'm so good at eyeliner, but okay. Now you go sizzle, girl, I mean dude...... Hyuk". After 4 contestants have gone, he walks out on the runway and he says "Ugh, ugh, I'm struttin' my stuff, I'm struttin' my stuff. I'm doing that catwalk like one of those ferocious furri- kitties I used to see on my law- my neighbor's lawn, and I ain't talkin' bout the cougar that was livin' there, cause damn she was HOOOOOOOOOO". Once he got done struttin' his stuff, RuPaul stood up and gave a standing ovation. RuPaul says "Wow, you were like fire, like wow, burn it, then burn it to the ground". The other contestants instantly forfeit and begin celebrating Cleetus. "Gee thanks, s- s- sisters", Cleetus says. RuPaul says "Congratulations, you've won the show. I am so proud of you, here is your trophy engraved with your name, Cleetus". Cleetus says "Uhh, hah, hyuk, thanks... How'd you know my name?" RuPaul says "From the big man, sizzle sizzle brother dressed like my mother". Cleetus whispers "Who's the big man?".
Immediately, the camera focuses in on RuPaul's face and you can see Cleetus' uncle standing behind RuPaul licking his lips (from a distance though) SLURRP SLURRP SLURRP SLURRRP. Cleetus nervously says "I gotta go- I gotta go". RuPaul says "But you're slayin' and trust me, but you know who's also slayin'? The big man who wants to meet you because you just won!" Cleetus says "I see a big man who really wants to meet me right now!" Immediately, Johnclere screams at the top of his lungs "I'M GONNA R**E YOU!!! LEROYYYYY JENKINS!!!". Cleetus then runs for his life out of the building. While running, Cleetus sees a billboard in downtown L.A. with his face on it and it says "Redemption: The Next Big Thing" on it. Cleetus runs to the police station and says "Help, my uncle is tryna r**e me!" and he points out towards the entrance. As he does that, an innocent old man walks by and the cops instantly beat him up to a pulp, but Cleetus didn't see that and walked out back into the street.
Chapter 5: The Final Solution[]
Cleetus gets a call from Bob Robson, he says "Cleetus, pack your bags, get back in the building, I need you now, it's time to reclaim this business". Cleetus arrives and enters the businesses' building. Cleetus arrives and goes up the elevator, with his suit and tie on (he miraculously changed outfits while going up the elevator). He walks out the elevator, and the camera pans back with him as he walks out the elevator. and the music kicks in DUH NUH NUH (let's get to business music), it's a very cool scene. As he's walking, his friend Bob walks shoulder-to-shoulder with him as they both walk forward, they look at each other and nod and continue walking. They walk into Shelock Hemsworth's office and she asks "What do you two want?". They meet face-to-face, Cleetus sternly says "Get out" and slaps her "B***h", while the intense business music is still playing DUH NUH NUH. She walks out and Cleetus sits on the chair and says "It's time to take control of things". Bob says "Alright Cleetus". Cleetus gets out of his chair and looks out of the 57-story high window. "Alright Bob, the plan is-" STOP. He gets interrupted. Cleetus and Bob turn around and look, standing there backwards is a man. The man says "Cleetus"... Cleetus interrupts and says "Turn around so we can see you". The man says "Oh yeah, you're right... Cleetus..."...
The man turns around and it is the company's founder and original CEO who has been long proclaimed dead, Mustache Chachoofy. Cleetus says "You're still alive? I thought you were dead... What's happening?". Mustache says "Cleetus, I have faked my death...". Cleetus says "Why in the hell would you do that?". Mustache replies saying "To kill you, Cleetus! My plan all along was to kill you Cleetus, my masterclass plan. It has all led up to this very moment. I faked my death, and I had the company appoint Sarah Martins as the new CEO. I knew she would have a heart attack and die as this job is so stressful, especially for a woman, and I knew she would transform my company into a liberal paradise. I was the one who put the golden ticket in your ice cream, some other sad poor child got the rainbow ticket, I gave you the golden ticket since I knew it would throw you off". Cleetus says "How'd you know my favorite flavor is cookies and cream?" Mustache says "I asked your uncle! Nah, I actually didn't know I just chose a random flavor! I knew that you would accidentally donate to Nazis, in fact, I set up that organization just to fool you. Even the second one! I was one of them who deterred you in chat by saying "jebaited". Haven't you realized, that I've been there all along Cleetus? Haven't you realized that I was the one who gave your uncle that wine glass? Haven't you realized I was the one who set up your booking in the RuPaul drag show. I paid your uncle to chase you where I needed, and I didn't even need to pay him much, cuz he still wanted to hit that juicer anymore...". Cleetus says "Lemme guess, you told Shelock Hemsworth to leave as soon as I slapped her?" Mustache says "I put her in charge for you to overtake her, but I didn't expect that you'd just slap her and call her a b***h, that was pretty rude! I planned differently, but still today. I failed two of my 1,448 step plans". Cleetus says "Why'd you do all this just to kill me? Why'd you do this, I don't even know you!" Mustache says "Of course, I'd expect you to say that, I'd really expect you to say that. You brushed me off and you never cared. Cleetus, don't you remember the old cougar who lived at Fifth and West Fishweather Street. She was my wife, she was my cougar! She was my lady. You were playing with my son, and I never suspected a thing. Then when you were 16, and I was gone at work, I know what you did to my wife! And you think I'm gonna forgive you, 20 years later? Cleetus, it's time you go". Cleetus says "Honestly, for one, it was her that did to me. And two, no wonder why you married her, and three, what's wrong with me thinking your wife is attractive? I'd do it again, hyuk". Mustache says "Look Cleetus, I've rigged this room with explosives, and it's ready to explode as soon as I push this button. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". Mustache pushes the button. Cleetus and Bob immediately start running for the window and the explosives explode and blast them out of the window, the two go flying, and start falling 57-stories. The two are screaming HAaAaaAaaaaAAaAaAAA hyuk". Bob says "I TOLD YOU THE ICE CREAM AIN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!". Once they're near hitting the ground a semi carrying an inflatable bouncy house drives by and catches them. Sad music starts playing as they look up at the office in the business building on the 57th-story engulfed in flames. The driver driving the bouncy house drives away from the scene.
After an hour, Bob and Cleetus jump out of the bouncy house, on the concrete, rolling only 27 feet. Cleetus then looks at his phone and sees a news story that's called "Cleetus Was Blown Up In An Office Building". He clicks on the article and reads the comments and sees all the people saying "Man, what he could've been. I was just starting to like the guy, but oh well, guess he's dead. Who's gonna cry about it?". Cleetus throws his phone on the ground and says "We got to bust case, Bob! We gotta go bust this case and take care of this Nazi extremist thing that this guy setup. If growin' up in Louisiana taught me one thing, it's how to use a firearm. Sure, this ain't gonna be politically correct, but it's gonna be justified".
5 days later, bum bum bum bum bum bum, at the extremist's hideout in the appellation foothills of Western North Carolina. Cleetus and Bob are all geared up, and head into the hideout. Cleetus and Bob sneak into the compound and they see a guard standing there and they stab him with a knife in his throat, and drag him behind a building. They walk into one of their buildings, and they see a guy drinking coffee from a Swastika coffee cup. And they stab him quietly and he drops. Then a Nazi walks around the room and starts screaming in Nazi language (err- German). The guards are alerted and Bob pulls out his gun and shoots the guard several times, killing him. The whole compound is alerted and they sound the alarm. Cleetus and Bob pulls out their machine guns and go guns blazin' and start dropping Nazis left and right. They try to run to a milk crate and Bob gets shot in the side in the appendix, they get behind cover, and Cleetus says "ARE YOU OKAY BOB?" while being pinned down by gunfire". Bob says "It's okay, it just hit my appendix which is an organ that humans don't need, so it's okay". They overhear radio chatter saying "SEND IN THE HELICOPTERS! SEND IN THE SWASTICOPTERS!". Cleetus and Bob hold their position but feel they can't stay there much longer. Bob says "We need to get to cover before the Swasticopters get here, come on, LET'S GO!". Just as he says this, a Swasticopter comes flying around the appellation hill, loaded with a bunch of guns. Bob then picks up Cleetus and starts running towards a building for cover, Bob then gets shot 57 times (that's a funny reference to how many stories were on the ice cream businesses' building). Bob throws Cleetus into the building sacrificing himself, falling onto the ground at that very moment. Cleetus then says "HOLY S**T! THOSE DAMN MONKEYS- NO, NOT MONKEYS, THAT'S RACIST AND I'M A GOOD PERSON NOW. NO NOT BOB". He breaks down crying. His heart starts pumping and he thinks to himself "I'm not gonna be able to make it out of this". Cleetus starts thinking to come up with a a Hail Mary, BUT HE CAN'T THINK, AND HIS HEARTS POUNDING, AND THE WALLS ARE STARTING TO CLOSE IN. BUH BUM BUH BUH BUM BUH BUM. HIS HEART STARTS FLUTTERING SUPER FAST. Cleetus says "NO NO NO!". Immediately, BOOOOOOOOOOOM. Kicking in through the wall, Chuck Norris arrives to save him. Chuck says "COME ON CLEETUS, GET UP! WE GOTTA DO THIS!". Chuck puts Cleetus on his shoulders like a piggyback ride, Chuck then goes gun-blazing on the Nazis, killing many of them. Chuck then gets pinned down by heavy fire from the Swasticopter. He puts Cleetus down and says "GO RUN INTO THE FORT, FIND THEIR LEADER! FIND MUSTACHE!". Chuck jumps to the Swasticopter and strangles it to death. On it's way down, and he jumps down and does a double-knife takedown on two guards standing below. He then pulls out his whip and starts whipping them and says "HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN IT'S DONE TO YOU!". Chuck then grabs a bazooka and starts blowing the place the pieces destroying one building at a time. Meanwhile, Cleetus runs through the fortress, which is more like a Nazi temple, this part of the gameplay is kind of like Temple Run 2. Cleetus approaches the main door to the entrance of the big room, but it's guarded by two Nazi monks. He must fight one monk at a time with his fists to get by, meanwhile, Chuck is in the courtyard wreaking havoc amongst the Nazis. The Nazis call in their cavalry unit, 400 Nazi soldiers on 400 horses. Chuck Norris grabs his mini-gun and starts mowing them down (miraculously doesn't hit or scratch a single horse). Cleetus is getting his a** whooped by the Nazi monks. Cleetus says "Quit hittin' me! I was about to call you Moana, but I've learned from my mistakes! Quit hittin' me, Nazi scum". Cleetus pulls out his pistol and shoots one of the Nazi monks beating him up. The other monk says "Ayo what the hell man, this was supposed to be a fistfight!" Cleetus responds saying "Sorry, blood was rushing to my head, I'll fight you fair and square!".
Meanwhile, in the courtyard, 20 armored vehicles and 250 armed infantry units started shooting at Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris then kicked all 20 vehicles over and then blew them all away with his breath. But there were still more Nazis charging him down the hill. At the temple entrance, Cleetus then is a** whooped by the other monk. Cleetus starts getting beat down to a pulp like the old man. The monk then starts strangling Cleetus, and immediately BOOOOOOMM, the monk gets kicked off him and through the ceiling by Chuck Norris. Cleetus says "Thank you, Chuck. Thank you". Chuck opens the door to the main room. And there they find, Mustache Chachoofy. He says "Cleetus, it was you!? I thought it was just Chuck Norris, how'd you survive my 1,448 step plan? You underestimated me. Cleetus, listen to me, I'm smart and I thought about this a lot. Remember when I said I had 1,448 steps in my plan. Well I had 1,448 men in total, and you guys have failed to kill two of them. Just like I failed two steps. The two of them are me, and Cleetus, the last one is standing right behind you.... Hehehehehe....". It's Johnclere, Cleetus' uncle, and he's holding a knife. Johnclere says "It's time Cleetus"... Cleetus says "Let's do this creepy old uncle". Chuck Norris and Mustache begin brawling (like Goku). Cleetus and his uncle proceed in a knife fight. Cleetus then says "NEVER AGAIN OLD MAN! I'M GLAD I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TO PUT AN END TO YOU, HYUK". Johnclere says "And you probably never thought that your friend, Bob, would die either! I'll be honest, I'm just glad I get to feel you again, hehehehe". While still wrestling with the knife, Cleetus punches him in the face. His uncle stabs him with the knife. The uncle says "Hehehehe, just like good ol' times, it's been a while since I penetrated you!" (this line sucks). Cleetus pulls out the knife and stabs his uncle in the heart and his uncle says "Agh! GAAAASSSPP. Sloppy seconds, I like that". Then he drops and dies. Cleetus turns around to check if Chuck is okay, he sees Chuck just holding Mustache waiting for Cleetus to come deal with him himself. Chuck then says, alright, Cleetus, go ahead and finish the job. Cleetus then grabs the knife and walks toward Mustache and says "Where's your wife nowadays?". Mustache says "You're probably just gay, what does it matter?" Cleetus then says "Look throughout this journey, I've learned that it's good to be gay, but no homo". Then he stabs Mustache in the chest, "but seriously, where's the wife? Where is she- where? I'm not gay". Mustache man says "I can't believe my plan failed, it was such a good plan, I just never accounted for the bouncy-house truck, I accounted for everything, except that". Cleetus stabs him in the throat, and Mustache is finally dead. Cleetus starts crying saying "It's over". Chuck then says "If you need a ride out of here, I got ya, man, also I can be a Hearst for your friend".
Epilogue[]
9 months later, Cleetus is declared Businessman of the Year as Ice Cream sales skyrocket. He became one of the most highly respected people in America after the takedown of the Western Appellation North Carolina Nazi Compo- whatever. He attended Bob's funeral, and his family thank Cleetus for taking Bob on a Nazi killing campaign, as that was his lifelong dream, as his father served in the Great War, the Second World War. Cleetus is soon to be a happy dad, as that hot cougar down the street, Ms. Chachoofy is pregnant with Cleetus' child. Cleetus is then invited to a ceremony after winning Businessman of the Year. He gets up and takes his award, and says "Thank you to everyone who nominated me, to my future child, who I hope is either a boy or a girl or anything else. I'm just happy that I could overcome and make a redemption from my initial days. I was setup in the first place, for someone to try and kill me. I know it sounds ridiculous but, now you guys believe me. I wanna give a special thanks to Chuck Norris and RuPaul, cause I would not be here without them. I'm just a happy man, living my life as a CEO. Badlands Cream will now be bringing on a new brand endorser, BadlandsChugs to bring on his own ice cream flavor. So thank you, everybody! Ya'll made me, one happy n***a!" The crowd immediately gasps, and Cleetus responds saying "No no no, hold up, I said the good one, I didn't say n****r!"
The End
Reception & controversies[]
Metacritic Rating - 8%
User Rating - 82%
Most people said the game was funny, even though the writer didn't anticipate for it to be funny, and he is offended that people think it's funny. He said that "it's about the narrow line of what's acceptable and what's not and about a man changing in front of our eyes, as he learns what's wrong and what's right. I think the game did a good job at this. I also get mad when people say the game had way too many coincidental moments, what do you expect, the bad guys to win?".